What we expect of each other tends to arrive
Two books on love, insecurity and the reality we build out of what we expect. Plus the physics and philosophy that give the idea its vocabulary, and a careful account of where that vocabulary stops being literal.
Marketing is what I do for a living. It gets one page and is not the subject here.
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One problem, underneath everything
A fear about a person can produce the behaviour that brings about the thing feared. Insecurity becomes a need for reassurance. Reassurance becomes an expectation. Expectation becomes pressure. Pressure changes how the other person behaves, and then the person who was afraid points at the result and says they knew all along.
Nothing supernatural happens in that sequence. A prediction is made and then acted on until it comes true. Everything I write is some version of that problem, looked at from psychology, from philosophy, or from the physics of time.
The interesting part is not that we are wrong about each other. It is that being wrong about each other is a mechanism, and mechanisms can be interrupted.
Two manuscripts
The long-form version of the argument. Both are unpublished, and both are scrupulous about the line between the physics and the metaphor.
Nobody has to shrink
A handbook for secure love. Neglect, self-worth, emotional independence, and a quantum philosophy of attention and possibility.
Read about Nobody has to shrinkThe thing you were afraid of
A quantum philosophy of love, insecurity, validation, and the reality we create by expecting it.
Read about The thing you were afraid ofWhere the physics stops
This subject attracts a particular kind of writing, so the position is stated plainly and early rather than buried in a note at the bottom. I do not think consciousness creates physical reality. I do not think two people are entangled in the sense a physicist means. I do not think quantum mechanics shows that wanting something makes it happen.
Where I use the language of physics about human life, I am borrowing a structure of thought, and I say so at the point of borrowing. It rules out the more thrilling version of every argument here, which I think is a good trade. There is more on that on the about page.
Five ways in
Separated so a reader always knows which register a piece is written in, particularly where the physics and the metaphor sit close together. They are not really five things.
If you came here for the marketing
I work on organic discoverability for software companies. That has its own page here, describing the profession honestly and selling nothing. The services, the free tools and the writing about the craft live on a separate site, which is where anything commercial happens.
Where to start
The books are the fullest version. The about page explains the method. If you disagree with something, that is more interesting to me than agreement.